A walk in the rain


Hot and scorching.

rainwalk.jpg
That’s the sort of mood the weather’s having. When it’s dry and the sun’s shining, she could say it is now the hottest April in living memory.

But it does rain sometime. She would wake in the middle of the night to the sound of the raindrops cracking and spattering at the window, drumming and pounding on the roof. In fact the weather made her feel slightly better. It seemed like Fate’s way of evening things up.

She was probably the only one who didn’t mind the torrential rain.
She couldn’t believe that she’s not eating much lately. Because she’d always had a fair appetite. She spent her teenage years praying desperately to be aneroxic. She never believed that aneroxics were poor, sick, misfortunate girls. She thought, they were as lucky as could be, with their protruding hip-bones and their lean thighs and their waif-like air. Whenever she met a thin person who would say “Oh silly old me, I simply forget to eat“, she would stare at them with ill concealed bafflement and bitterness, feeling unglamourous and lumpy. She would think, how could anyone forget to eat. She had appetite, what an untrendy and shameful thing to have.

Because when the world ends and we’re all in Heaven, and time ceases to exist and we are pure of spirit and have eternal life, which we will spend contemplating Allah, she would still need her monthly doses of Oreo McFlurry.

But she would console herself with the thought that skinny people were probably lying through their teeth. They were really raging bullimics or taking amphetemines or having liposuction every weekend.
And now, she was not hungry at all. In fact she was appalled at the idea of having to eat. If only she had felt like this when she was seventeen. It seems like books and the rain are the antidotes that wash troubles away, even for a while.

Rain are like tears. Tears created by Allah s.w.t., and with each drop of a tear, blessed with rahmat, faith of new hopes and beginnings. There’s a familiar sense of comfort in its loneliness. Putting the world to a halt, as though to stop us to ponder.
  • Dan Dialah yang menurunkan hujan dari langit lalu Kami tumbuhkan dengan air hujan itu segala jenis tumbuh-tumbuhan, kemudian Kami keluarkan daripadanya tanaman yang menghijau, Kami keluarkan pula dari tanaman itu butir-butir (buah) yang bergugus-gugus dan dari pohon-pohon tamar (kurma), dari mayang-mayangnya (Kami keluarkan) tandan-tandan buah yang mudah dicapai dan dipetik dan (Kami jadikan) kebun-kebun dari anggur dan zaitun serta buah delima, yang bersamaan (bentuk, rupa dan rasanya) dan yang tidak bersamaan. Perhatikanlah kamu kepada buahnya apabila ia berbuah dan ketika masaknya. Sesungguhnya yang demikian itu mengandungi tanda-tanda (yang menunjukkan kekuasaan Kami) bagi orang-orang yang beriman.” (Al-An’am: 99)
  • Dan Allah menurunkan hujan dari langit, lalu Dia menghidupkan dengan air hujan itu akan bumi sesudah matinya; sesungguhnya pada yang demikian itu terdapat satu tanda (yang membuktikan kebijaksanaan Allah) bagi kaum yang mendengar (peringatan ini dan memahaminya).” (An-Nahl : 65)
  • Dan Dialah (Allah) yang menghantarkan angin sebagai pembawa berita yang menggembirakan sebelum kedatangan rahmatnya (iaitu hujan), hingga apabila angin itu membawa awan mendung, Kami halakan ia ke negeri yang mati (ke daerah yang kering kontang), lalu Kami turunkan hujan dengan awan itu, kemudian Kami keluarkan dengan air hujan itu berbagai-bagai jenis buah-buahan. Demikianlah pula Kami mengeluarkan (menghidupkan semula) orang-orang yang telah mati, supaya kamu beringat (mengambil pelajaran daripadanya).” (Al-A’raaf: 57)
As she quietly sat on her sajadah, she welcomes these tears, supplicating for Allah’s love and maghfirah. Letting go of her innermost fears, hopes and dreams. In between the salty taste of it all, she subtly feels the bursting calm and serenity inside her gentle, betrayed heart.

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